Women VS Men: A Test of Strength, Patience and Understanding

Would you believe me if I told you the entire concept of this blog started with a single Facebook post? Don’t lie, you TOTALLY believe it because your life revolves around Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or whatever you use to take your mind off the real world.  The Title seems very obvious. Another mindless post about why men and women are different, some bigoted point of view from some guy who has no clue what they’re talking about or some other rant from another angry future crazy cat lady who’s fueling the feminism fire.

You’re wrong.

Here’s my observation. Men and Women are different, but equal. No one gender is superior to the other. We are all the same. We come from a man and a woman, our anatomy is similar and we all want the same thing. We want to be loved, desired, pursued, etc. etc. etc. The king CANNOT rule without his queen and the queen CANNOT rule without her king. That’s the truth. In fact, if you feel one gender is superior to the other, you’re part of what’s wrong with the world right now.

If you think otherwise, you should stop reading now and go back to your closed-minded world.

Into the fire

Sometimes strength comes to us whether we want it or not, and at a very young age. Some of us can say that we were born into the fire of life. Whether you’ve been raised in a broken home, with a parent or parents who were never around. When this happens, strength is all we know and all we could know.  We didn’t have a choice to take the easier road. Now, as this is a great quality to have, it’s purpose gets lost in translation as we grow up. We become so strong, that we don’t know anything else. We’ve become difficult to be around, be loved, or be understand and thus, we end up alone. By no means besides our very own.

“Is this a bad thing?” You may ask.

Look all over your social media. You’ll easily find someone who’s been through the worst hell of their life and now, all of a sudden, they’re prepared to accept being alone for the rest of their life. They erect massive psychological walls to keep the “bad people” out. They become more and more selfish, negative and miserable. Thus, in their effort to be as strong as possible; They’re the weakest they’ve ever been in their life.

Now, I ask you, “Is THAT a bad thing?”

Get Naked

Keep your pants on, I’m not talking about stripping. I’m talking about what it’s like to be TRULY naked. Vulnerable, no guard, no armour, no anything to protect you from the cruelties of the world except your spirit, your deep inner strength. THAT, my friends, is what strength is. And anybody to tell you otherwise, is wrong. Somewhere in our generation, we’ve been taught the exact opposite. We have guys wearing Uber tight T-shirts, big manly trucks or fast cars, tribal tattoos, flash money, buy expensive crap, talk up a good game, and always trying to “Prove” their masculinity and their value as a man to every person they meet when they’re just making a fool of themselves, for two reasons:

1.      They aren’t fooling anyone

2.      They’re trying to prove it to themselves, in all honesty.

Women are no different. Now days, Women will do anything they can to establish their value, EXCEPT accept themselves for who they are, how they look, what they’re about and so forth. Breast implants are getting bigger, as are ass implants. Botox, fake hair, push up bras, extra make up, plastic surgery. The list goes on and on and on. The funny thing is about this is that guys think they’re doing all of this work to make themselves more attractive to men.

News flash boys: THEY’RE NOT

They do that because they want to prove to every woman around them that they’re more beautiful, thus they think they have more value than the other women in the room. That has nothing to do with men whatsoever.

 Or, they go the opposite direction. They’re completely Anti-Everything I just mentioned and are the vain of a good man and woman’s existence. The Feminists. The women who want to make it perfectly clear to the opposite sex that they’re irrelevant to women, inferior to women and that women can do everything a man can do and they don’t need a man. I often wonder what really goes on inside their heads when they see a man and a woman who are actually good together. Happy as a team and thriving with each other in life.

Feminists, you’re not a symbol of strength. In Fact, you’re just the female version of the male bigots you so hate.

True strength, in my observation, is being able to be nothing BUT who you are. Naked and unafraid of what others will say/do. That is strength. The ability to say, “This is me. These are my faults. There are my strengths. What you see, is completely me. Unyielding, raw and real.” Because anybody can hide behind a mask of bullshit. It takes a strong individual to take that mask off and truly be themselves, no matter if things are going good or bad.

In God, do we trust?

I think it’s safe to assume religion has lost its fire in the last couple of decades as we are given more and more reasons to not follow it. Priests molesting children, cult fanatics, people killing in the name of Jesus, the list goes on and on. And I believe now, we find ourselves even further from God than ever. Divorces are at an all time high, people don’t take their oaths or vows seriously anymore and, it seems more so now, that society has become to accepting of this, “Do whatever, who cares” idea that, literally, leaves us without boundaries. Both personal and social.

Now, again, you may ask me, “well, is that a bad thing?”

Can you honestly say it’s not? No boundaries are a nice way to say Chaos. Pure Chaos. Whether it’s within yourself, your life or your group of friends. Does this work? Is there order out of chaos? Have you ever even seen it work??

The old souls will attest the way love and relationships are carried out by a lack of connection with God. That God is their source of strength and stamina when all seems bleak and hopeless in life. It gives you something more to believe in other than yourself. Something more to believe in that is BIGGER than yourself. I am in agreeance to a slight degree as I’m not a very religious person. I prefer the notion of:

Believing in yourself before anything.

Loving yourself, before anything.

Knowing yourself, before anything.

Because without you, there is nothing.

Is God’s love as representation of you loving yourself? Do you love yourself at all?

Let. It. Go.

Love is the BEST and absolute WORST thing that can ever happen to you. It can send you to the heavens with a single notion of it or it can make your life an absolute hell. And it’s part of life, so you can’t avoid it unless you become a hermit or move to some random place where you know no one and keep it that way. And the funny thing about love is that it comes in two different times in your life.

1.      When you’re NOT ready for it

2.      When you ARE ready for it.

It follows a pattern like this because we, are human beings, are idiots. We have every single resource to our fingertips, loads of advice from willing and unsolicited sources in friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc., yet we still need to touch the fire to see how bad it is going to burn us.

Again, Why?!?!

Because we’re morons, but we have to be morons to learn a very valuable lesson. The lesson is:

YOU MUST KNOW HOW HARD ROCK BOTTOM IS SO YOU’LL KNOW TO NEVER GO THERE AGAIN

Now, there is a part 2 to that first time love comes around, it comes around and you DIDN’T learn your lesson, so the same shit keeps happening to you again and again. We all know someone like this, and you probably can’t help thinking why they can’t seem to break this cycle. Because they didn’t learn their lesson. They didn’t accept it, they didn’t pay attention, or they just didn’t care.  However, that isn’t the worst thing that we can experience when it comes to love.

The worst thing we can experience is going through love when it doesn’t work, and NEVER trying again due to fear. Fear is the single more destructive thing in the human psyche and, much like cancer, it spreads to every single aspect of your life if not dealt with immediately. That’s how you see those crazy cat ladies and weirdo dudes who’ve had a taste of this emotion, it crippled them and now they’re forever emotionally handicapped. They’re scared, and for good reason, because love hurts like hell!!!

This pain is meant to sculpt and mold you into becoming the person you are meant to become. That’s Pain’s purpose in life. Pain molds you, teaches you, strengthens you and prepares you for the road ahead. Pain, for me, was the best/worst thing that has ever happened to me. However, Pain kills fear. Once you learn you’re not made of glass, life gets a lot easier.

Let go of whatever happened to you, because THAT’S strength. That’s what strength is; Letting go and moving on and not forgetting the lesson.

S.Y.S. aka Save Your Ship

This is going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life. You’re going to have to learn how to love yourself, for every reason that has nothing to do with a mate, money, or materiel. You need to know your self-worth, your own value and establish your own self-respect. If you don’t have any of this and are depending on someone else to help you find it, you’ve already fucked up.

Love is with unlimited potential, yet it comes with a serious price and it comes with boundaries. Far too many people have been caught in the web of love and have lost EVERYTHING, including themselves to this emotion. If you think love is everything and everything should be sacrificed for it, you’re sadly mistaken.

According to a few very strong women I’ve spoken to, you can love someone to the greatest degree, however, when you begin to sacrifice yourself, your values, your worth or your happiness, that’s when it’s no longer love. That’s when enough is enough.

You cannot save the world. You cannot force others to change and you cannot force yourself onto others to accept you. This is the rule of love. It comes swiftly, naturally and without force or resistance. We need to be the identifier in this situation, as we need to know if we’re dealing with Love or Lust. And now the difference between the two.

Your boundaries are a symbol of your self respect and self worth. Your confidence is a reflection of your value as a human being and, like I said before, all of this has NOTHING to do with a mate, money or material in this world. All of this begins and ends with you and only you. That’s why you must be #1 in your life. No one else, but you. You’re the ship that’s taking you in the direction you need to be. You won’t go far if you neglect the very thing carrying you in life, will you?

Love yourself first. Establish your value and never let it diminish. Know your boundaries and enforce them. Know yourself, so you don’t have to learn the hard way anymore. And in this process, you’re going to have to cut certain people out of your life. The leeches who cling to anything that can sustain them, the vermin who use and abuse you and the manipulators that will do or say anything to get what they want out of you. You’ve got to identify them and you MUST cut them out immediately.

Final Toast

Not all of this will stick to you, as like I said earlier, because we are morons and have to feel the fire to know if it’ll burn or not. We can’t save everyone and nor do we want to, but at this time, I’d like to leave you with this final thought for all of you.

To all the women who struggle with their identity and accepting of themselves. To you, whose hearts are so loving and full, may you find your happiness within you and may you be without the leeches, manipulators and vermin of mankind. Know that you are worth all the happiness you shall receive and to never settle for what you don’t deserve. Know that your looks are nice but it’s who you really are on the inside that keeps the love going. And Thank you for not giving into social pressures and bullshit banter of what a woman should or should not be, for you’re the only one who can decide that for yourself. To your strength, your love and your heart ladies.

To all the men who still open doors for women, give up the minor inconveniences to show chivalry isn’t completely lost. To the men trying to rewrite a woman’s history on men by his actions, not his words. To those who struggle with their identity as what a real man is, thank you for not caving into the social pressures of being an asshole. Thank you for being an example that other men can live by and thank you for keeping chivalry alive. To your strength, your patience and your understanding gentlemen.

Talk less, act more, keep your promises and, as always, be honest with yourself

And that’s food for the soul,

Sean

The Pseudochiatrist Is In

When having a pretty deep conversation with a friend, I was able to actually pull a few things away from it that I found relevant to a few things I have been dealing with recently. I think this is some Food for the Soul we can all enjoy.

1. Know Yourself. 

You are the guiding force in your own life and no one knows what direction you need to go in but you. Your body is a biological GPS and it WILL guide you to where you need to be.  As it's helpful to have advice from friends and family, at the end of the day, YOU have got to be satisfied with what YOU are doing and where YOU are going, no body else. Be honest with yourself. It'll save you a lot of trouble.

2. It's okay not to live up to societies standards.

We're the TV generation. We're raised on being told what a man is supposed to look like and what a woman is supposed to look like and all of that is just bullshit. We're not all meant to be models, millionaires or business people. We're human and we're meant to be just that. Not perfect. We aren't and we never will be. And that's okay. The things we do need: Love, Acceptance and Purpose, all come from within first, externally second. Remember that.

3. You won't know until you feel how hard rock bottom is. And it'll be the best thing that has ever happened to you.

This is a HUGE lesson I believe a lot of people missed growing up(and especially in their adult years) . We need to feel how hot the fire is so we know what we're dealing with. I believe this is the most important lesson in life. This is the moment that can make of break you.  This is the catalyst that creates the person you were meant to be. No one can save you , you got to want to save yourself. No one can help you, you got to want to help yourself.

And as always  .......

4. What are you really afraid of?

Ask yourself this and be honest.  What are you really afraid of in life?  Because unless it's directly in front you or happening to you,  there is nothing to be afraid of. 

Seriously, if I could workout, eat, play video games, travel and help people all over the world for a living, I would. Actually, I plan on doing it.

SeanB

Food and Drink. The International Language.

Now days you can purchase a device than can translate any language into your own and vice versa in seconds.  While that is helpful, especially when you're a certain super hero traveling all over the world being awesome, it lacks passion.  Such passion in the languages of love like French, Spanish or Italian being spoken in a weird robotic dialogue.

If you aren't rolling in mounds of cash to be able to purchase this, or don't have the patience to learn it, there is another way to communicate with passion. From ocean to ocean. The phrase is called "International Delicacies."

Food , and drink,  is a language of love.  A wide spoken verse that can bring men and women of all culture and background to the same table in harmony. I believe it does this with love "cooked" in your food, brewed in your coffee, and added to your desserts.

I can remember a time during my past relationship, my ex was making a specialty of hers (Her Italian was out of this world.  Next to her Greek) and I'm getting excited as the smell starts filling the kitchen, the wine starts to pour and the salads are being served.  The main course comes and, at first bite, everything changes. It didn't taste like anything! I've never had food that tasted like nothing!  She knew it was off by my reaction as I wasn't floating on cloud 9 holding my belly with a smile on my face.

Calmly, because you know you're in the danger zone when you begin to criticize the cooks food, I simply ask,  "are you alright? The food's off." (Because I'm that smooth)

After a conversation that was smooth as sandpaper dipped in honey and rolled in broken glass, we came to a mutual understanding, ate what we could, finished the wine and ordered a pizza with a B-movie night to follow. 

I believe to become well verse in this international language is to explore the world of delicacies. Try new foods, try different coffee blends, try new wines from different countries.  If you can't explore the land physically, use your taste buds. I also believe your cooking is a reflection of what's inside you.  Yes, fresh ingredients and a method does help, but it's the love inside you that will make your delicacies taste like that of an executive chef.

Bon appetite y'all

Sean

Paper Burns and Fire Dies

As children, I believe we all took those fairy tale stories our parents read to us a little to literally, but, then again, what did we know? right? How were we supposed to understand what we heard and believed was just that ... "Make believe"?

Unicorns and Prince Charmings don't really exist and, for those who are legitimately looking for a legit person in their life, it sucks. It sucks bad. It actually almost makes you want to elbow drop whoever came up with such bullshit. It lead us to believe that in our life, eventually, our fairy tale will come true. I think this is more for girls, as for guys it's more like "Where's my porn star hot ass wife who will never get fat, old or ugly?? * well, most guys at least. I say this because I was once like that. Sue me.*

Here's the truth, when our parents and grandparents were in the dating scene, there REALLY were such things as Unicorns and Prince Charmings. The Unicorn, or the perfect woman in a man's eye, and the Prince Charming, or the perfect man in a woman's eye, all walked amongst each other and married, actually stuck to their wedding vows and made a home for their children and all that fun stuff.

Now, fast forward a generation or two, and the dating world has slipped into a Post-Apoctalyptic pile of Brontosaurus shit * Enter Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park* and the previously mentioned mythological creatures are rarer than rare can get. In fact, they're so rare I heard big foot claimed he had photos of such bizzare mentions. Who knows, and who wants to argue with someone called big foot anyway.

But, as we do not have our mythological creatures, we have a new problem in our selfish generation of independent men and women and the leeches they support. We cannot seem to either stick to a single commitment, let alone a vow, and we can't seem to decipher what we want and what we need.

I've been through a little, so let me break this down for you. You have two people in your love life that you will run into. You have your fire, and you have your paper.

The paper is that individual you meet that, on paper *get it*, is the perfect ideal person for you to commit to. They have a great job, make great money, can take care of you, come from a great family, they seem like the "ideal" candidate for you to spend the rest of your life with. But, on paper, that's all they have. These are usually the type of person you marry for security because you don't make enough money, are tired of working or just a leech. The relationship lacks anything outside of conformity and acceptance of where you are. Don't be surprised if this one ends in a divorce *much like everyone's marriage now-days it seems*

The fire. The fire burns, yes it does. This person is the person you know is just trouble. No matter how you look at it, no matter what red flags come your way and no matter who you meet after, before or during. This person will constantly occupy your desires, your mind and ignite your senses into a flurry of roundhouse kicks and tequila shots. This is the person you desire and think of most while maintaining your mundane and melancholy existence with your paper match. They can't offer you as much as your paper, but they do more for your spirit than you paper would even conceive.

I believe it's our own personal duty, being in this selfish generation, to know who you are and what you want before you, unintentionally or not, ruin another persons life with your ignorance because here is a fact I'm gonna throw at you:

Unicorns DO indeed exist and they are rare. They are rare because some asshole bagged a unicorn, killed it and bragged about his exploits to his other asshole friends.

Prince Charmings DO exist and they are also rare because they fell for the wrong woman and she ruined him.


Whatever you seek, your Charming or your Unicorn, they will possess BOTH your passionate fires while maintaining your life on paper as well.

So I guess my final question is ....

Why settle?

Sean

Adios' San Antone

Heat beats down on the back on my neck, as if I owed it money for something, while the soothing sounds of George Straight and Willie serenade my senses as I see the city of San Antone in my rear view mirror. Slowly disappearing ever so slightly by the mile.

Adios good ol' San Antone. Until we meet again, happy trails to you.

I cruise through these familiar highways and streets being reminded of where I came from and what I've experienced during my short time here. Four years doesn't seem like a long time when you can remember, as if it was yesterday, you in your old car hitting the road, running your own business and  writing for a prestigious local magazine ( Shoutout to San Antonio's NFit Magazine).  But even though everything seems familiar, it seems, it couldn't be any more unfamiliar.

Things change, people grow up and/or apart, and energies move on.  During my time there, I felt as a stranger wondering around in a strange land. Familiar faces turned strangers, old friendships turned questionable, and, for some reason, I can't help but accept this.

Even though I'm long out of the reach of the 1604, I can't help but reflect a lot on myself and my idea of what friendship really is.

I've only shared this idea with one other friend who, at the time, was my best friend and, ironically, my ex. We both shared this belief that we could be the best of friends and maintain a connection, regardless of how often we communicated or saw each other. As time goes on, I've  shared this with another one of my friends, but this isn't exactly a common thing I'm finding.

But even as people I've known have changed, maybe it's not so much them, it's me. I've changed and I know I have. Things I've valued four years ago are so different now, I can't seem to ignore it. I once valued progression measured in attainable assets that I could put on a display, in a way. Whether it was where I lived, what I owned, what I accomplished, etc.  You get the picture.

Now, I find myself valuing anything that cannot be purchased or displayed. I value conversational depth, food for my soul, vibes and energy from the environments and people around me. I've even developed this idea of, "Get Something. Give Something." mentality where I find myself giving things to those who gave me something I have value in now. Whether it was precious pieces from my travels or acts of labour or work to help someone out with something.

The small crossroads of Junction grows nearer as I'm speeding down the highway at damn near 90mph. In a rush to get nowhere. And as the sun kisses the skies goodbye, I look back on those who were there when the dust settled when this huge life change happened. They know who they are, and even though I'm focused on the road, my thoughts are always with them, as are my prayers.

Loyalty is everything now. Friends, family, coworkers, opportunities, words, or anything else are nothing without loyalty behind them. I find loyalty to be the bitter pill of honesty. Everyone wants it, none can give it nor can they take it. Because who really wants to hear how badly one if ruining their life? I guess only those who want to change for the better.

Home is only 30 miles away at this point. Dusk hugs the horizon, the music is just right and I'm okay with it all. My opportunities are few, but I trust in the process of life. I have a few things in the works, and I know I'll be taken to the right road to where I need to be. Trust in the process of your life because if you're on the right path, you'll get to exactly where you need to be at the right time.

Don't let them try to satisfy you with just words and don't take anything at face value. Dig deeper because that's where the treasure is.


Sean

My Eyes are Grateful

In an effort to describe the feelings that arise from the time our eyes have met would mean to die and come back with your second breath

No, my mind has not been forsaken to darkened planes and hopeless being

It is simply this feeling

How amazing!!

To feel such passion for another,
Lacking the reciprocation yes,
but a gift is to be cherished.
To receive is not an expectation

Yes, her sight blazes the very essence of my spirit that flows like a vicious stream down the falls

But what scares me most is that I thought it could endure such a blow, yet her charm melts me as snow in a summers glance with just a smile, bestow

Alas, if I am to die, I'd rather die happy than remain not to ever know such beauty

You bid me farewell as your admirer

as if it was your duty

Overqualified: The Oxymoronic Myth of the Working Man.

Have you ever tried finding a job? If you're lucky you won't have to look too long, but it seems that now days, you have to watch how you are presented to an employer. This is the age of the self made and, yet, so many of us are still swimming in shark infested waters trying to get a piece of the proverbial pie. In any given moment, our lifeline could get pulled at any time with the remark of, "well, we may not be what you're looking for." I.E. "We don't want to pay you that much." It amazes me that so many companies are searching for quality, yet only think quantity. Let me explain what I mean.

I'm an entrepreneur looking for a job in today's market. Yes, just as Michael Jordan tried to hit a home run, I realized this isn't for me. Yet, it took this situation to get it through my head. I recently went through a two week ordeal with a local gym owner who, himself, was an entrepreneur. I saw that he was looking for a Membership Sales Director for his gym and the pay was within the $24-$27k/year range so I applied. Naturally, I got a call immediately given the extent experience my resume showed. We marveled in hour long discussions regarding business, customers, marketing strategies and so forth which, in all honesty, I loved yet felt I was short changing myself by giving away all of my insight for free. If Tony Robbins can charge his rate for his insight, why can't I? Right? Well .... Maybe that was a bad example. However! What did the Joker say? "If you're good at something, never do it for free!". Better example.

This particular gym owner informed me that he was so impressed with my knowledge and experience that he decided he wanted to actually create a position specifically for me. Think of Boss/Leader all rolled into one. I was to help with: Marketing/Events, Promo, Sales, Personal Training and bringing value to the brand and emphasizing the experience. Now, I'm not against working but I wasn't interested in working for cheap either. I've had the pleasure of working with a different gym owner and his lovely wife who understood supply and demand a little better than the latter. (To which I am incredibly sorry I let him and his wife down. I wasn't in the right head space for that job and I wish things had went differently, but the experience was worth its weight in golden knowledge. And for that, I thank you.)

So, after he went as far as to say I was the most qualified individual he had spoken to regarding employment, like symphony of hesitancy, his tone changed dramatically when we got to discussing compensation. In case you didn't know, the fitness industry is shifting it's payments from lump sums to monthly drafts from your account. Which means the gyms don't get that huge sum of money monthly from PT. So the pay scale changed a lot for management. Now, keep in mind, before we mentioned pay, I DID apply for a job that pays in the ballpark of $24-$27k a year. I simply stated I wanted a consistent salary that is negotiable(within his range) and I wasn't interested in bonuses/commissions, etc etc. He was startled at this, but with a lot of doubt in his voice, he let me know that he didn't know if that would work. 

So fast forward a few days, they ask me to "Secret Shop" their class to offer my opinion (I do know people get paid for this job). I agree, and oblige the G.M. with my thoughts and feelings regarding the class. Ironically, this convo turns into another interview for this Hybrid position that doesn't even exist. After explainimg the details of my past experiences, the previous job offers I've been given and offered and turned down, we end the convo with a conversation regarding boxing, sports etc. Not even 6 hours pass and I get a phone call from said G.M. informing me they will NOT be hiring me and will be looking for someone else due to the ASSUMED financial offers been given to me by other potential Assistant Manager and Fitness Manager jobs that I've turned down in the past. It actually came down to not wanting to pay me a non disclosed, non-negotiated compensation which they NEVER offered me.

I was left dumbfounded, yet understand this reason in entirely. There was also a Dr in Dallas who wanted me to help him with marketing, work his front desk, help sell a new age remedy of therapy for his office yet only wanted to pay me a very insufficient amount(nothing one could live off of) with the reasoning of, "you don't have enough office experience for me to pay you more." So, in short,

EMPLOYERS WANT "QUALITY" EMPLOYEES YET REFUSE TO PAY THEM A QUALITY PAY RATE.

All I can say for your company, is that you get exactly what you pay for. Employers and customers alike.

As I've been saying, this is the age of the self made.  We as working men and women have been given a choice and the line was drawn in the sand long ago. Either make your own future, or work to make someone else's future. I have found a new fortune in having faith, not only in myself but faith in the universe/divine/god or whatever you believe in. Education is soon being discovered in long conversations with intelligent individuals as well as archives and in the shelves of libraries and your traditional 4 year diploma is soon going to be worth only the price of the paper it is printed on.