Stop Bullshitting Yourself

Cue the massively annoying and, unfortunately, catchy song that went viral not to long ago! And think about this,

" Why the fuck you lying?"

Why do we lie? Why do we feel it's better to lie than to tell the truth? At this point, y'all probably think,

"Why's this dude writing a piece on lying when he knows DAMN sure he lies to?"

I'll tell you this: You're right. I do lie. Everyone lies and this piece isn't about superiority, this is about explaining how I interpret the difference between lying and just regular bullshit.

Yes, I have lied and, unfortunately, it took me a few years, a few experience and a few downfalls to realize that lying can be essential at times, but no one has time for bullshit.

To me, a lie is a sign of prevention. This goes in one of two ways. Either:

1/ You're trying to avoid a conflict with someone or hurting someone's feelings

2. You're trying to save your own ass and avoid responsibility.

Now, we know the white lie. That lie we tell our grandparents to keep their spirits up or the lie we tell someone we care about to not discourage them or embarrass them. Is there room for that in our life?

Of course there is. Don't feel bad for not wanting to be an asshole. Remember, life must maintain a balance within itself and, as life goes, we will all come into a situation where a white lie isn't exactly a bad decision.

Then there's the other lie. What has been named, "Bullshit". This is the one that always gets us in trouble. People bullshit and they end up:

marrying the wrong person

maintaining a horrible relationship

maintain a horrible lifestyle

have to keep up with the bullshit until even they can't tell what's real and what's a lie

keep themselves on a path that isn't meant for them.

Just by looking at this comparison alone, we can see we DEFINITELY don't have a need for bullshit , nor do we have the time or the energy for it. Life can be just as exhausting, if not MORE exhausting, without the bullshit.

So why do we do it? Why do people bullshit? Let me give you an example,

Say you have a few friends from out of town and y'all barely keep in touch but find out you'll be in the same town at the same time? what happens next?

You get this text/FB message/phone call:

"Hey, we should hang out when you're in town!"

And what happens? the day comes, and nothing. And what happens next? You get this:

"Oh man, I must have missed you. My bad, I just got to busy. We will have to hangout next time."

Now, there are a few circumstances where this excuse is legit. Even though ALL excuses are bullshit, this sometimes can be legit. But if you KNOW this is an excuse, you got to call Bullshit and let me tell you why.

1/ No one's that busy. You just weren't a priority to them. Lets just be honest. Because if you WERE a priority to them, they would have made time for you come hell or high water. Whether if it was 10 minutes or 10 hours.

2. Why the hell would you say we should hangout when you had no intention of following through with it? Why bother? If you did it to sound nice or feel better about yourself, you FAILED. Now you just seem like an asshole and you sound like you're a bull-shitter.

Relationships are no different. Hell, I dare say, it's worse in a relationship because people have a tendency to do it all wrong in a relationship. Bullshit is at an all time high now when it comes to people in this generation and I don't know how they can do it. Speaking of generations, I'm going to pass on some wisdom to you that was given to me a while ago:

"If you have NO intention of getting married or, at least, marrying the person you're dating. DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THEM!!! Actually, don't even date them to begin with. What's the point of dating when you have no intention of taking it to a serious level? Are you casually dating? Oh? Do THEY know it's just casual? Of course they don't because if they did, they wouldn't take your ass seriously either"

People wear masks all the time. Especially on first dates, we know this. Why? Why the hell do we fake who we are in the beginning? I'll tell you why I think that is,

Because you're embarrassed, ashamed, or insecure of who you REALLY are so you hide until this person falls for you then, for some stupid reason, you think it's safe to be the REAL who and the person who fell for you is confused AF.

The relationship starts off as a lie. Then people will lie in a relationship to either keep it going when they KNOW they don't want to be with this person anymore. Or they've cheated and can't admit it. Why? This is why:

We're afraid

People are afraid. Afraid to admit they fucked up. Afraid to admit they can't stand you, your own bullshit, your baggage, the way you eat, or anything like that. It doesn't matter. So we lie.

And with every single lie, a fire builds inside you. Every lie is like throwing gasoline on it until, that fateful day, you explode and all this is all in the open.

When you could have done yourself, and your significant other, a favor and just been real. However, speaking of real, let's be real about this right here:

People SAY they want the truth, but don't have the courage to handle it, hear it, accept it or deal with it.

You want real, there it is right there. Everybody wants the truth, but no body can deliver it or handle it. So what do you do??

Here's what I did:

I dealt with bullshitting to myself and to others to a certain point when I simply told myself,

"To hell with this. I'm over it. Never again."

Don't bullshit yourself because you're the only one that suffers for it. People enter and leave your life and it's never just for no reason. Life's talking to you and every person you come across is a chance for you to grow as an individual. Where we are in life right now, it's no one's fault but our own as it was no one's choice that got us here but our own.

Don't keep being afraid of the truth. Be afraid of the bullshit. Be open to human interaction. Keep doing everything you can to remain true to who you are.

Stay away from the bullshit.

I love you,

Sean