Every night, it takes a toll. Sometimes in large pay offs. Sometimes in tiny bits here and there. But every night, I go back to that exact moment in time.
The moment where, in my opinion, everything started to go to shit and, in a weird way, I created the storm myself.
It was in the time of my life that I felt I had everything to take on the world, as it came my way. I've broken free of such horrible chains that we find ourselves in each day. Whether it's insecurities, bad relationships or just fear over nothing, I was able to rid myself of that.
In fact, I had noticed, I was given more than what I was putting into my life. How is that?
I guess less really is more?
Fast forward a few months, and I feel the exact opposite. I feel as if, again, I'm riding the eye of this same exact storm I found myself in before.
Her timing had a lot to do with it.
By the amount of damage this person caused, you'd think she took a special interest in tearing me down as much as she could. Between the name calling, the attitude and the frustrations of my lack of forgetting what had happened, I would have thought she might have actually gotten pleasure out of being a bitch to me.
Even though the same blows aren't as hurtful as they once were, the old scars still tingle with every word she regurgitated that day and an oddly familiar feeling crept up my spine.
It's sickening to see what a human being can get used to isn't it?
However, beyond her harsh tongues, I'm still coasting along the eye of this storm. Billboards of potential regret greet me every few feet as I fly. Maybe I should have done things differently? Maybe I shouldn't be so insecure and actually ASK for help when I know I need it. Maybe I need to just fall in line like everybody else? Is it possible ..... was I .... wrong?
"Who am I doing this for? Who am I trying to save?" I think
I can't even save myself.
A blink of a eye, a clatter, a loud noise and back to my reality, I was. Confused, temporarily, yet very much familiar of my surrounds. A gleam of light, as the lighthouse in the middle of that exact storm, showed in the form of just what I needed to see and read in a message
How weird my world seems to work ...
Timing is everything.
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