Women VS Men: A Test of Strength, Patience and Understanding

Would you believe me if I told you the entire concept of this blog started with a single Facebook post? Don’t lie, you TOTALLY believe it because your life revolves around Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or whatever you use to take your mind off the real world.  The Title seems very obvious. Another mindless post about why men and women are different, some bigoted point of view from some guy who has no clue what they’re talking about or some other rant from another angry future crazy cat lady who’s fueling the feminism fire.

You’re wrong.

Here’s my observation. Men and Women are different, but equal. No one gender is superior to the other. We are all the same. We come from a man and a woman, our anatomy is similar and we all want the same thing. We want to be loved, desired, pursued, etc. etc. etc. The king CANNOT rule without his queen and the queen CANNOT rule without her king. That’s the truth. In fact, if you feel one gender is superior to the other, you’re part of what’s wrong with the world right now.

If you think otherwise, you should stop reading now and go back to your closed-minded world.

Into the fire

Sometimes strength comes to us whether we want it or not, and at a very young age. Some of us can say that we were born into the fire of life. Whether you’ve been raised in a broken home, with a parent or parents who were never around. When this happens, strength is all we know and all we could know.  We didn’t have a choice to take the easier road. Now, as this is a great quality to have, it’s purpose gets lost in translation as we grow up. We become so strong, that we don’t know anything else. We’ve become difficult to be around, be loved, or be understand and thus, we end up alone. By no means besides our very own.

“Is this a bad thing?” You may ask.

Look all over your social media. You’ll easily find someone who’s been through the worst hell of their life and now, all of a sudden, they’re prepared to accept being alone for the rest of their life. They erect massive psychological walls to keep the “bad people” out. They become more and more selfish, negative and miserable. Thus, in their effort to be as strong as possible; They’re the weakest they’ve ever been in their life.

Now, I ask you, “Is THAT a bad thing?”

Get Naked

Keep your pants on, I’m not talking about stripping. I’m talking about what it’s like to be TRULY naked. Vulnerable, no guard, no armour, no anything to protect you from the cruelties of the world except your spirit, your deep inner strength. THAT, my friends, is what strength is. And anybody to tell you otherwise, is wrong. Somewhere in our generation, we’ve been taught the exact opposite. We have guys wearing Uber tight T-shirts, big manly trucks or fast cars, tribal tattoos, flash money, buy expensive crap, talk up a good game, and always trying to “Prove” their masculinity and their value as a man to every person they meet when they’re just making a fool of themselves, for two reasons:

1.      They aren’t fooling anyone

2.      They’re trying to prove it to themselves, in all honesty.

Women are no different. Now days, Women will do anything they can to establish their value, EXCEPT accept themselves for who they are, how they look, what they’re about and so forth. Breast implants are getting bigger, as are ass implants. Botox, fake hair, push up bras, extra make up, plastic surgery. The list goes on and on and on. The funny thing is about this is that guys think they’re doing all of this work to make themselves more attractive to men.

News flash boys: THEY’RE NOT

They do that because they want to prove to every woman around them that they’re more beautiful, thus they think they have more value than the other women in the room. That has nothing to do with men whatsoever.

 Or, they go the opposite direction. They’re completely Anti-Everything I just mentioned and are the vain of a good man and woman’s existence. The Feminists. The women who want to make it perfectly clear to the opposite sex that they’re irrelevant to women, inferior to women and that women can do everything a man can do and they don’t need a man. I often wonder what really goes on inside their heads when they see a man and a woman who are actually good together. Happy as a team and thriving with each other in life.

Feminists, you’re not a symbol of strength. In Fact, you’re just the female version of the male bigots you so hate.

True strength, in my observation, is being able to be nothing BUT who you are. Naked and unafraid of what others will say/do. That is strength. The ability to say, “This is me. These are my faults. There are my strengths. What you see, is completely me. Unyielding, raw and real.” Because anybody can hide behind a mask of bullshit. It takes a strong individual to take that mask off and truly be themselves, no matter if things are going good or bad.

In God, do we trust?

I think it’s safe to assume religion has lost its fire in the last couple of decades as we are given more and more reasons to not follow it. Priests molesting children, cult fanatics, people killing in the name of Jesus, the list goes on and on. And I believe now, we find ourselves even further from God than ever. Divorces are at an all time high, people don’t take their oaths or vows seriously anymore and, it seems more so now, that society has become to accepting of this, “Do whatever, who cares” idea that, literally, leaves us without boundaries. Both personal and social.

Now, again, you may ask me, “well, is that a bad thing?”

Can you honestly say it’s not? No boundaries are a nice way to say Chaos. Pure Chaos. Whether it’s within yourself, your life or your group of friends. Does this work? Is there order out of chaos? Have you ever even seen it work??

The old souls will attest the way love and relationships are carried out by a lack of connection with God. That God is their source of strength and stamina when all seems bleak and hopeless in life. It gives you something more to believe in other than yourself. Something more to believe in that is BIGGER than yourself. I am in agreeance to a slight degree as I’m not a very religious person. I prefer the notion of:

Believing in yourself before anything.

Loving yourself, before anything.

Knowing yourself, before anything.

Because without you, there is nothing.

Is God’s love as representation of you loving yourself? Do you love yourself at all?

Let. It. Go.

Love is the BEST and absolute WORST thing that can ever happen to you. It can send you to the heavens with a single notion of it or it can make your life an absolute hell. And it’s part of life, so you can’t avoid it unless you become a hermit or move to some random place where you know no one and keep it that way. And the funny thing about love is that it comes in two different times in your life.

1.      When you’re NOT ready for it

2.      When you ARE ready for it.

It follows a pattern like this because we, are human beings, are idiots. We have every single resource to our fingertips, loads of advice from willing and unsolicited sources in friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc., yet we still need to touch the fire to see how bad it is going to burn us.

Again, Why?!?!

Because we’re morons, but we have to be morons to learn a very valuable lesson. The lesson is:

YOU MUST KNOW HOW HARD ROCK BOTTOM IS SO YOU’LL KNOW TO NEVER GO THERE AGAIN

Now, there is a part 2 to that first time love comes around, it comes around and you DIDN’T learn your lesson, so the same shit keeps happening to you again and again. We all know someone like this, and you probably can’t help thinking why they can’t seem to break this cycle. Because they didn’t learn their lesson. They didn’t accept it, they didn’t pay attention, or they just didn’t care.  However, that isn’t the worst thing that we can experience when it comes to love.

The worst thing we can experience is going through love when it doesn’t work, and NEVER trying again due to fear. Fear is the single more destructive thing in the human psyche and, much like cancer, it spreads to every single aspect of your life if not dealt with immediately. That’s how you see those crazy cat ladies and weirdo dudes who’ve had a taste of this emotion, it crippled them and now they’re forever emotionally handicapped. They’re scared, and for good reason, because love hurts like hell!!!

This pain is meant to sculpt and mold you into becoming the person you are meant to become. That’s Pain’s purpose in life. Pain molds you, teaches you, strengthens you and prepares you for the road ahead. Pain, for me, was the best/worst thing that has ever happened to me. However, Pain kills fear. Once you learn you’re not made of glass, life gets a lot easier.

Let go of whatever happened to you, because THAT’S strength. That’s what strength is; Letting go and moving on and not forgetting the lesson.

S.Y.S. aka Save Your Ship

This is going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life. You’re going to have to learn how to love yourself, for every reason that has nothing to do with a mate, money, or materiel. You need to know your self-worth, your own value and establish your own self-respect. If you don’t have any of this and are depending on someone else to help you find it, you’ve already fucked up.

Love is with unlimited potential, yet it comes with a serious price and it comes with boundaries. Far too many people have been caught in the web of love and have lost EVERYTHING, including themselves to this emotion. If you think love is everything and everything should be sacrificed for it, you’re sadly mistaken.

According to a few very strong women I’ve spoken to, you can love someone to the greatest degree, however, when you begin to sacrifice yourself, your values, your worth or your happiness, that’s when it’s no longer love. That’s when enough is enough.

You cannot save the world. You cannot force others to change and you cannot force yourself onto others to accept you. This is the rule of love. It comes swiftly, naturally and without force or resistance. We need to be the identifier in this situation, as we need to know if we’re dealing with Love or Lust. And now the difference between the two.

Your boundaries are a symbol of your self respect and self worth. Your confidence is a reflection of your value as a human being and, like I said before, all of this has NOTHING to do with a mate, money or material in this world. All of this begins and ends with you and only you. That’s why you must be #1 in your life. No one else, but you. You’re the ship that’s taking you in the direction you need to be. You won’t go far if you neglect the very thing carrying you in life, will you?

Love yourself first. Establish your value and never let it diminish. Know your boundaries and enforce them. Know yourself, so you don’t have to learn the hard way anymore. And in this process, you’re going to have to cut certain people out of your life. The leeches who cling to anything that can sustain them, the vermin who use and abuse you and the manipulators that will do or say anything to get what they want out of you. You’ve got to identify them and you MUST cut them out immediately.

Final Toast

Not all of this will stick to you, as like I said earlier, because we are morons and have to feel the fire to know if it’ll burn or not. We can’t save everyone and nor do we want to, but at this time, I’d like to leave you with this final thought for all of you.

To all the women who struggle with their identity and accepting of themselves. To you, whose hearts are so loving and full, may you find your happiness within you and may you be without the leeches, manipulators and vermin of mankind. Know that you are worth all the happiness you shall receive and to never settle for what you don’t deserve. Know that your looks are nice but it’s who you really are on the inside that keeps the love going. And Thank you for not giving into social pressures and bullshit banter of what a woman should or should not be, for you’re the only one who can decide that for yourself. To your strength, your love and your heart ladies.

To all the men who still open doors for women, give up the minor inconveniences to show chivalry isn’t completely lost. To the men trying to rewrite a woman’s history on men by his actions, not his words. To those who struggle with their identity as what a real man is, thank you for not caving into the social pressures of being an asshole. Thank you for being an example that other men can live by and thank you for keeping chivalry alive. To your strength, your patience and your understanding gentlemen.

Talk less, act more, keep your promises and, as always, be honest with yourself

And that’s food for the soul,

Sean